Vance Johnson in the Win Again Clubroom

Heartbreaking. Gut-wrenching. Shocking. "Vance Johnson came home from playing his first Super Bowl, sat in the dark of his bedroom suite, and tried to slit his wrists." WHAT?

Retired NFL player, Vance Johnson joined us for a conversation in the Win Again Clubroom two years ago to share his incredible story!

Wait until you read this excerpt from my interview with Vance, the alcohol and drug abuse, 8 divorces, 7 kids who wanted him dead, so much pain, unforgivable behavior, trauma and steps backward, and then...recovery.

I don't want to give you any spoilers, but I will tell you that you will be hanging on every word, and be drawn into what Vance Johnson shared with us.

Thank you to Vance for being so transparent and vulnerable, your words and actions will continue to save, inspire and motivate! You are truly someone who embodies the spirit of "Win Again!"

Could you tell everyone about your childhood and your dad in particular? 

My dad grew up without a father, so he didn’t do sports or even finish junior high school. He actually got involved in a gang. Unfortunately, when my father was part of that gang, he had to face a lot of prison time or go join the service. He opted to join the service, and they sent him down to Huachuca, Arizona. After several months, he had a chance to go off campus. He goes to a James Brown concert and sees a young lady sitting in her car. He knocks on the window and asks, “Why aren’t you inside?” She says, “I’m only 15, and they’re selling alcohol, so I’m not old enough.” He stays outside and talks to this 15-year-old girl, then later goes to her high school and proposes. She got pregnant, and unfortunately, my dad went back to his old ways—selling drugs, using drugs, drinking, and being violent. 

So what was your home life like back then? 

My father pretty much started hitting the streets here in Tucson. He was involved with people who were selling and using drugs. The other thing he started to do was really be abusive to my mother. My sister and I were witnessing the abuse, and it got so hard for us. I had planned on going up to Mount Lemmon here in Tucson and just committing suicide because I hated my father, and watching my father beat on my mother every single day is traumatizing for a kid. The only time I had any joy or happiness inside of me was when I watched television, and what I watched was sports. I fell in love because I saw all these athletes making touchdowns, hitting home runs, and I thought, “I would love to be famous one day.” 

What was your first experience with alcohol? 

My father was an alcoholic, and I promised myself when I was a kid I was not going to drink, I was not going to do drugs, I wasn’t going to be a wife-beater. During my college years, I did not do any drugs, and I didn’t drink. Unfortunately, I got two girls pregnant my first two times having sex, and I ended up abandoning those kids. I was so self-righteous because it was about being famous that I literally just abandoned those kids. 

I ended up being drafted by the Denver Broncos, and we were playing against the San Francisco 49ers. All I had to do was catch a punt at the end of the game. I’m standing on the 10-yard line, and the ball is coming down. I’m thinking, “This is the last play of the game, we're winning; maybe I should catch the ball with my eyes closed, and I’ll be on the front page of the press.” I ended up fumbling the ball, and San Francisco won the game. My teammates were screaming and cussing at me, and my coaches were saying, “You‘re probably gonna get cut.” When I got back to Denver on the way to the final cut that day, I had my first drink, and I became

an alcoholic on day one. When I didn’t get cut, the only thing I could think about was how good it made me feel when I would drink alcohol. I was an addict from day one in my NFL career. 

There were instances where you were playing while you were drunk. Tell me how your teammates felt about that. 

Early in my career, some of my teammates would notice that when I got to the game, I wasn’t the same player they saw at practice throughout the week. Eventually, it got to the point where they would have me come three to four hours early to detox before the game, and unfortunately, I wouldn’t stop drinking anyway. I ran off the alcohol sometimes throughout the first part of the game, and then I’d be making the winning touchdowns. I struggled off the field; on the field was the only time I had any type of joy. 

Tell me about when you feel you really hit rock bottom. 

Throughout my career, as I mentioned, I had already abandoned my two kids, and I struggled off the field. Even after the Super Bowl, I was at home trying to kill myself. I got a call from my mother saying, “God put you on my mind,” and she saved my life because I was literally cutting my wrist. 

I started to date a lot of women when I was in the NFL. I actually got married because I got a young lady pregnant who was going to have an abortion. I begged her not to kill the baby, so we went out to Las Vegas and got married. It cost me $86,000 gambling that night but $12 to get married. 

I ended up finding out later that three of my teammates were having sex with her. I got so angry I ended up getting high; I ran home and punched her. I already had some domestic violence issues, growing up around a father who was beating on my mom. I threw her across the bed, and she hit her head against the closet door. My wife was lying on the ground, and she was dead. I ran over and was trying to get her to breathe, and I couldn’t. I was pushing on her chest and blowing air in her lungs. I carried her to the bathroom and started dumping her head in the toilet. Eventually, she started breathing. I was so pissed off at her, I went out and cheated on her and got another woman pregnant. 

I had three women pregnant at the same time during my NFL career. I had my second wife pregnant, another woman from a strip club I saw on a daily basis pregnant, and another man's wife pregnant from a one-night stand. 

At the end of my career—10 years in the NFL, just struggling and having so much sin in my life—I was supposed to sign another three-year contract with the Broncos, and I just didn’t show back up. That’s where rock bottom started. I thought I was achieving an identity by being famous, but it’s like climbing to the top of a ladder, thinking, “When I get to the top, I’ve achieved my identity,” but the only place to go is down. Athletes, we don’t climb back down the ladder; we jump off headfirst. 

Can you talk about your son Vaughn and how he became your “why”?

At this time, I’d had seven wives, and my second oldest decided he wanted to be in his dad’s life. He kept reaching out, and I started ignoring him because of my addictions and my problems with women. He reached out and said, “Dad, if you can do me a favor, I need a ride to go see my mom because my grandfather just died of cancer.” I ignored him, and at 10:30 in the morning, my first wife called me and said, “Our son is dead. Vaughn is dead; a drunk driver ran a stop sign and killed him.” I picked up a bottle of Patron, and I just started drinking. It really breaks my heart, the type of guy I was because I abandoned all my kids. 

I was screaming and crying to God to help me one day, and then all of a sudden, I got a call from the NFL. They said, “We got reached out to by your ex-wife; she felt like you were struggling and needed some help.” I flew out to Florida with nine NFL players for treatment. One of my therapists asked, “What would you tell your son if you were able to talk to him at his grave site?” I said, “I would tell my son that I’m never going back to the old me, and I’m going to stay sober for him for the rest of my life.” 

You were looking at your options coming out of recovery, to earn a couple of hundred dollars a week staying at the treatment center or going to work for the Broncos. What made that decision hard or easy? 

After I was clean for a year or so in my recovery, the Broncos reached out to me about working with them. I went to the airport and sat there for six hours to wait for my flight. I didn’t want to go back to being famous because I knew what I would do with the women I met inside the Broncos 

stadium. I needed to say no to myself, so I had to deny the opportunity to be successful and famous again because I would lean back on my addictions. I got on a plane and flew back to Florida. I was pretty much homeless, catching the bus to work every week. I made a promise to God to use the very platform I fell off of to show people there’s a way out of the addictions and the bondage of mental illness. 

What would you recommend to help anyone that is struggling with some form of addiction? 

The number one thing we do is not give up. I’m the ambassador at America’s rehab centers; you can reach out to me, and I’d love to help you. Don’t support the addiction, but let that loved one know, “When you’re ready for help, I’m here for you.” Look in the area for different types of programs and see what’s the best fit for them. Just never give up and love the addict but hate the addiction. If people want to reach out to me, I’ll do whatever I can to support them in getting their loved ones into treatment. 

What’s the best way for someone to get a hold of you? 

The best way is my website vanceinspires.org. I’m the ambassador at America’s rehab campuses in Tucson Arizona. If you have a loved one that needs to get into treatment just reach out to me. 

Thank you so much for being here I appreciate your time and your story

I give God praise that I had this opportunity. Jesus Christ nailed my sins and addictions on the cross and I love to share the hope in Jesus with everyone. If you need me please reach out.